Brokenness - Jesus is ENOUGH

Ross and I have experienced brokenness around us like never before in the last couple of weeks. Today at the hospital was a taste of the brokenness that Jesus suffered on the cross that I could barely bare on top of many places in our life and families that is weighing heavy on our hearts. It was a long and difficult day, and everywhere I turned all I could say aloud was "JESUS!" All night the Lord kept putting in my heart the words to an old song, "Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me...melt me, mold me..." I need the Spirit of the Living God more than anything today. We need it afresh in our families, our children, our schools, our government, our court rooms, our hearts, our hospitals, our community, our churches...we need the Spirit of the Living God falling afresh EVERYWHERE!!! I sometimes have felt the last few weeks, that some things are just (as some other girls and I defined tonight) shattered. My question to the Lord is, "Can You fix shattered?" Of course He can...There is really not even a question there, but in the midst of watching many shattered moments, lives, and hearts, I have to ask, "Jesus are you really enough?" Lovingly, gracefully, with full confidence, and after convicting me for my unbelief, the Spirit of my Living God says, "Yes, Ashley, I really AM enough and I always will be." Now I move to believing Him for who He says He is.

A beautiful morning...

A beautiful picture of the wonder of our Lord---

Outside the Picture window
A tree down... :(

Kodi always has to pose for his mama...

A look off the back deck...

Down the street...

Down the other way...

The wonder of snow...

A very covered driveway...

Beautiful tree....

Snow filled steps...

Kodi decided to take a nap in the snow...

And bury his nose...

Geez, mom, can we be done with pictures! :)

Another (the 3rd) VERY snowy day!!! :)

Kodiak had a blast in the snow - he loves it!!! He has dreams of Colorado dancing through his head. :)

Family

Family is something that is increasingly important to Ross and myself and something that we are coming to understand more and more as time passes...

Mirriam-Webster says that family is "a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head (household); a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation (fellowship)."

Family is those things to us but it is also much more, though we don't feel that we always do well what we love about family...

Families are support, sharing, open communication, unconditional love, spoken Truth, mutual surrender and respect, loving Jesus together, believing in the same purposes and truths, people that are always there when you look both ways, praying together, believing together, weeping and mourning together, celebrating and rejoicing together, bringing Heaven to earth together, worth it, people that you choose to love even when it's hard, one when they serve the same God.

We have a large family, Ross and me. It is large, bold and for the most part meets those above things often and beautifully! We have family near and far. We miss our Alaska and Flagstaff family. We love our Weatherford family and their nearness and constant support. We are especially thankful for our Christ Fellowship family and their consistent, unwavering, and bold walk with us through life EVERY day. We love our work families and their support. We are surrounded by family...

Who do you have in your family? Who do you walk with daily and share convictions with? Who do you serve with and rejoice with?

I pray that the Lord continues to put the lonely in families and that He blesses those that are searching for their own families. May the Lord unite you with likeminded hearts that fellowship often!

Growing up...

January has been a rough month for Ross and me. Ross has been sick twice, once with flu stuff and the next with stomach. I've been sick with viral stuff once that knocked me dead on my feet. We have been met with many decisions to make about life, leadership and family this month. It has been hectic at work for both of us - late nights and lots of understandably emotional families. Yet, the Lord has grown us closer and our marriage is stronger than it has ever been. We feel like we are in the process of waking up... For me it's the kind of waking up where your eyes are opening and you get a glimpse of the beautiful day, but you are still dead tired so you want to go back to sleep, so you do... Then you wake up and see how beautiful it still is outside, but it is still SO comfy in bed and you would just like to lie there a bit longer...It's a good place, but if you stay in bed all day you will get NOTHING done (in our case for the Kingdom). For Ross it's a bit more like waking up for a coma and he feels like he doesn't have time nor energy to catch up with the world that he has missed out on for the last few years. It's a bit like waking up into a tornado for him. As we take everything around us in, we are comforted by a Savior who is loving and the greatest Guide in the world.

In the midst of our crazy month, we have been watching Anne of Green Gables. Ross bought me the whole series for Christmas. Ross had never seen it before. So he has gotten to know a bit about Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe and Diana Berry. I used to watch Anne of Green Gables over and over in Japan because it was one of the only movies we had in English. I loved it! It was an escape into a place of brokeness, story, rescue, love, and redemption... I still love it. I spent every movie smiling and enjoying all the lines that I remembered from childhood and all of the beauty in a good, wholesome movie. I hope my kids will want to watch Anne --- and love it just as much as I do and as Ross did. :)

Outrageous Love and Contagious Life

This is the week of prayer and fasting for our church. We spend a week in January praying and fasting for our church family, the Kingdom coming in Fort Worth and the world and asking God to speak about the upcoming year. The first two days titles for prayer were Monday: Outrageous Love and Tuesday: Contagious Life. I love these two phrases! Outrageous love really challenged me yesterday. I really had to remind myself what that meant... that didn't mean providing basic Child Life services throughout the day - that meant EXCEEDING the expectations of my patients and families, blessing them beyond their wildest thoughts, and doing everything in my power to make their hospital stay better... quite a task, but one that could never be completed without the Holy Spirit's presence. So I spent the day reminding myself that Jesus was the most outrageous lover of our souls. The Lord was good to remind me of the power of love - selfless laying down of my life often. Today the Lord was good to remind me of contagious life and what that meant. I kept thinking I want everyone to "catch the infection" of the Kingdom. I want people completely ruined, totally INfected, by the Holy Spirit - the kind of infection that EVERYONE around me catches quickly and is knocked down by. (I work on an infectious disease unit at the hospital...this is the best analogy for me.) But infections that are contagious are usually subtle in the beginning, bold in the middle, and totally exhaust you by the end, yet refreshing when completed...what a beautiful picture of Kingdom living. I want to be exhausted for Jesus and His purposes. I want to be contagious in EVERYTHING that glorifies Jesus! These two word phrases have been powerful this week. :)

2010 - Kingdom living = whole living

Maybe in 2010 I can keep up with blogging. Ross and I really believe that God has been very clear that 2010 is going to be a big year for us so I'm thinking I will have a lot to share. We are not sure of all that that holds, but it is shaping up to have a lot of fun things so far. We have 2 very close friends getting married this year, which is a joy! :) God has us multiplying into a cell group with friends that we love very much. Our church has a beautiful new building, and while a church is not the building, we do love worshipping there. Our brother-in-law rededicated his life to Jesus and was baptized this past weekend - so excited for you, Shawn! We got to reconnect with old friends to start off the new year - beautiful. It is wonderful to see friends really living the Kingdom life in all corners of the world (or Texas) :). It has been beautiful to really learn what it means to live in the Kingdom this last year. Now we feel as if the Lord is really asking us to walk it out - in our church, friendships, families, jobs, and our marriage. We are thrilled to get to walk in Kingdom living with people we love, that love us and that change us daily! We had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's. Below are some photos of some of our favorite people and moments in the past month:

Our house in the Christmas Eve snow

Our sweet friends, Josh, Sarah and Kate Seefeldt

Beautiful Kate! :)

Truly some of my MOST FAVORITE people - Hannah, Eric and Will

The Handsome Gardners!

My Favorite Hannah B! Love her!

Precious Garrett Gardner!

Kodi dressed for the Season!

A snowy family picture! Craziness!