The Pagenkopf Pad

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

And then there is Jesus

I would love for this to be a well-organized blog post, but unfortunately time does not allow for me to get all of these thoughts organized and written down. I may just get them blurted out.

Jesus.

This is what everything is really all about. His life, his glory, his love, HIM. And yet, even as I write this, I would love to be in his presence more and yet I choose to write this instead of practicing the actual art of sitting in His presence, at His feet, and allowing HIM to reign my day.

I've been reading Ecclesiastes and listening to Matt Chandler's sermon series on the book (two sermons in). Meaningless. Yes, listening to this and writing this blog, having kids, playing with my kids today and buying my husband a birthday gift. All meaningless. Really??

I'm so confused. Isn't there a righteous, holy way to do this life that makes all the things we do everyday NOT meaningless, but for Jesus?

Not without Jesus. Not without knowing Him and letting Him live His life in you.

There can't be NOTHING to what I am doing every day. The laundry, the discipline, the play time, the time with friends, the celebrations. Turns out Solomon wasn't doing laundry and play-time, and he celebrated like a crazy, blissful, self-indulging man and it was meaningless. This debauchery as meaningless makes sense to me, but playtime and laundry. All the mom blogs in the world tell me that this is holy.

It is holy...with Jesus reigning it.

"...He has set eternity in their hearts..."

Yes, He has set eternity in my heart. I can feel it. Everytime jealousy and judgement, pain and temptation, frustration and angst well up in me, I am reminded that I want more than that...that at the core of who I am, I believe that Jesus is better than anything I've ever tasted, seen, experienced. He is better than childbirth, organic shampoo, the best meal I've ever had, the best cup of coffee drank with the best book I've ever read in hand, the best mountain and lake view I can imagine, the laughter of two little girls in the back seat.

He is better.

And yet because the Spirit of the LIVING God is good and so much kinder than we can imagine, He lets me into holiness while I enjoy a cup of coffee. He shows me purity in my girls' laughter. He draws me into Him and shows me His unfailing love as my Daddy during childbirth.

The Spirit allows us to meet Him HERE AND NOW.

But only by the Spirit is that even possible. To make the most meaningless things so incredibly meaningful.

Matt Chandler said something similar to this in talking about life without Christ:
Here is the Truth...you will miss the fullness of it {the good things in life}...you will miss the joy of UNDERSTANDING the provision of God over your life. There is a joy that makes that{the experiences here and now} richer.

I spend a lot of time in contemplation these days. Who knows? Maybe it's the hormones of having children or the lack of sleep that takes me to my knees.   But I am raw.

I look around and see all that is happening. The good things, the hard things, the wrong things, the tragic things, the beautiful things, the lovely things, the yummy things.  And I am undone.

Our God gave us all of this and then said ~ enjoy it and experience it...but not without Me. I make it everything it is. I set eternity in the hears of man and make things beautiful. I do that! ~

It is all very meaningless...ridiculous.  And then there is Jesus.

And I want my meaningless without Him to become everything in Him, for Him because of Him pointing solely to Him and His Kingdom.

Spirit...I want that joy and understanding...the rich, deep wells of life IN JESUS.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Raising Girls

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted...and our girls are growing! Averly is 3 1/2 months old and Emilynn is 27 months old.

3 months

Averly is a fantastic baby. She is very curious and studies everything she sees. It's always so fun to watch her as her eyebrows wrinkle and she gives "the look." We do get these cheesy smiles out of her too and more and more each day. She loves to watch Emilynn do anything. She started rolling over a little over a week ago. She has rolled both ways but tends not to roll off of her stomach. She would rather fuss and get us to roll her back over. :) I'm looking forward to seeing how much she weighs. She was 12 lbs 9 oz at her 2 months appt. She's going through her sister's hand-me-downs very quickly! She is a fabulous sleeper. We are working on naps during the day and she is starting to get the hang of it. She loves her giraffe wubanub pacifier and really enjoys baths. She and her sister will be having many conversations in the backseat, cause these girls can talk! Ave coos and clucks all day. Loving getting to know this precious one.

2 months

1 month

Averly

Emilynn

Averly

Emilynn

Some comparisons above. Both girls are looking at the star that lights up on the activity mat...always produces smiles. :)

Sisters. I am learning about this and will continue to forever since I do not have siblings. What a beautiful relationship this will be. Emilynn loves Averly so very well and really has since the beginning.

27 months

Emilynn Claire...where do I start. This girl moves and talks non-stop. As exhausting as it is at times, it is quite spectacular that this girl can keep up with herself. Her memory blows me away...I ask her often where my keys, sunglasses and such are..and she always knows! :) Even when she didn't play with them. Like I've already said, she loves Averly so well. She has become so much more nuturing since Averly was born. Just this week, she began nursing her baby and putting her to bed like I do Ave. She always checks on Averly and wants to know where "Baby Ave Kate" is. Emilynn picks up new words almost hourly. We are very careful what comes out of our mouths these days... Her sentences are getting better every day. And she is finally beginning to talk in 1st person as opposed to 3rd. It's been in the last week that "I" has been introduced. She loves a lot of things...books, Little People ("babies"), WATER anything, iPad :), Curious George and Super Why PBS shows, her bed, backpack and cars, music ("Emi's music" = Hillsong Live), her soccer ball, her Obaa and Ojii, and the list goes on. My particular favorite is as we drive through town and the construction, I often hear from the backset, "Emi like dirt, Momma." "Really?" "Yes, Emi likes dirt Momma." :) Her favorite song is our version of "Jesus loves Emi and Ave" which Emilynn sings often. She is recognizing Jesus in books and loves for us to read stories to her. Church is at the top of the list of favorites where she loves to see her "fiends". God is good in this girl. Love her so! Her passion reminds me of someone I know! :)

Raising Girls...there is nothing quite like it.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Averly Kathryn

Many attempts at family pic...this is the best we got :)

A picture of Emilynn a couple of days old. There are similarities and differences. LOVE!

Averly Kathryn finally arrived at 4:12 am on February 28th. It was a crazy last couple of hours. After having prodromal labor for 7 days that began about 3:30am every morning and stalled out, on Wednesday, I woke up to a little more intensity and hope that things would progress. We went to the midwives that afternoon around 3pm only to have them send me home at 5cm, fully effaced, and tell me to have a glass of wine, take a bath and not go to work. I did not go to work for the first night. I planned to relax, but about 5:00pm, on our way to dinner at LaMadeleine's, contractions got super intense and took my breath away. I made it through dinner, but we headed to straight to the hospital from there. Once I got there, they weren't convinced they were going to keep me. At 8:30pm they gave me an hour and told me that if I didn't progress and have consistent contractions, they would send me home again...Are you kidding me!?! Thanks to my doula, Rachel and my hubby, we walked and an hour later, and MANY intense contractions and prayers later, I was a 7cm. Yay! I labored til about midnight and decided to get in the water. I labored in the water for 2 hours at a 9cm with no water breakage. The midwife finally checked me around 2 am and the checking broke my water. However, my sweet pea would not come out. I pushed and pushed for 2 hours believing that there was NO BABY in my body... I was extremely tired because I had been up since 3:30am (24 hours) Wedensday morning. I pushed on my hands and knees most of the time and then the midwife decided I needed to get on my back. Once I got on my back, I pushed for 30 minutes and was able to push our new precious baby GIRL out. She came out on the side of her head and body and had the cord wrapped around her several times. To God be the glory, that NEVER compromised her heartbeat or breathing throughout the labor and delivery!!! She had a huge bruise on her head and was 2 lbs heavier than Emilynn. So positioning and size were probably the largest factors of pushing so long. It was a HARD delivery, but also beautiful. We are so glad to have her!!!

My LOVEBUG

Emilynn's birthday is the day after Averly's and we celebrated the day we came home from the hospital. It was a long night and a little foggy for me, but totally worth it. My mom and dad made it possible...Obaa made a ladybug cake and cooked dinner for us to come home to. It was special to celebrate Emi again. Then I took her outside and got some shots in her ladybug dress. So big!

First family of four pic

Seriously? Gonna have my hands full clearly

A 2 year old Ladybug

We celebrated Emilynn's birthday a month early this year in anticipation of Baby P #2 coming. We had the party at the church which was awesome! And we kept it simple...a little food, a little craft, and a bounce house compliments of Bruces! Thank you to the Bruces for the highlight of the party. Such a fun time with sweet friends and family.

Bounce house fun

Lady bug crackers

Emi LOVES this thing

Loves to slide this way these days

Ladybugs on a log

Ladybug apples

Cupcakes!

Amelia the Lovebug

More cupcakes!

Lily the Lovebug

Mommy and Emi

Blew out her candle all by herself!

Family

This was my favorite part...I loved watching all of Emi's "fends" help her open gifts...brings tears to my eyes, the beautiful community that we live in

Valentine's Day

Ross and I celebrated Valentine's together this year on Tuesday. We had a great dinner at Terra's and then a great dessert at Sweet Sammy's. Yummy. Emilynn and I celebrated on Valentine's together by making cookies and going to the museum. Ross loves sugar cookies, so it has been a tradition for me the last several years to make them fresh on Valentine's Day. Emilynn enjoyed them thoroughly this year! :) This was mine and Emilynn's day of fun before the baby came and I really thought it would be very close to the arrival date. I had no idea that I would have been waiting 2 1/2 more weeks.

A Hello Kitty card and Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That video :)

Decorating cookies

My silly girl :)

Icing is the best

I guess I'll take a bite :)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Christmas 2012

A long overdue post about our Christmas. We started off spending the Friday morning before Christmas doing our own Christmas before we left for Flagstaff on Saturday morning. Then after a wonderful time in Flagstaff, we had another Christmas with my family on Friday after Christmas. It was a full and fun Christmas!