Bittersweet...

Today I go back to work... It is truly bittersweet. I am finding that there are a lot of things in life that are bittersweet. Emilynn is 12 weeks old today... I was pushing right now and it was amazing. That was such a sweet moment in time. The last 12 weeks have been amazing too. Getting to love and serve this precious little girl, while at times have been draining and burdensome, it has changed me and made me love her more every single day. I have thought many times about the job I do. Now that I am a mother, I truly am thankful for the job I do...meeting people in the hardest moments and getting the opportunity to love, calm, speak truth and just be with them. I am thankful to call myself a mom that is a child life specialist. What the mothers and fathers are experiencing at Cook Children's every day is difficult. To love something so much and wonder what each next moment may hold. I have been reminded in these last few weeks that every fever, cough, stuffy nose can be just as scary as that terrible diagnosis you never dreamed would come to you or your family. It is all the same when you are talking about something that you love. I am also learning to be a grateful woman. I am not, but learning. I am learning that in crisis, God is there. In pain and anger, God is there. In the mystery of what is happening, God is there. He knows. I am so grateful that He knows. I am so grateful that He meets us, that His presence is ENOUGH. Nothing I could hope for or wish for or pray for would make it enough or better...only His presence, only Him is ENOUGH and better. So when I walk in those doors tonight as a child life specialist, I pray that my heart would remember the Truths I know, now as a mother, but most importantly as a daughter of the King and the most loving and graceful Daddy there ever will be.
Jesus, may this job that I love and call my ministry be life-giving. May I know you more when I leave and may I have served you well with every family and child that I meet. May I be grateful...May I be grateful for the crys of the babies that feel pain, may I be grateful for the tears of the mothers who care, may I be grateful for the Drs and nurses that make being a mother easier, may I be grateful for my husband who believes in my gifts, abilities and calling and is an amazing daddy, and may I be grateful for you that is in all and makes all beautiful!!!